Uncomfortable, no idea what it means, or maybe you've read about it but not really sure where to start?
A physical pain can come from an unfolding of a painful emotion from your past which just keeps rearing it's ugly head in the form of a pain somewhere in the body, to remind you that it's time to let it go of that emotion. Keep ignoring it, and the reminder will get noisier by making the pain more uncomfortable, so we take stronger pain killers to mask the pain, supressing the emotion......and so the cycle continues until you don't know what else to do, and neither does your GP!
So let's get down to the nitty gritty!
When you looked in the mirror this morning, what were your thoughts? What were your thoughts as you put on your favourite pair of jeans and they're now a little more snug than they used to be. Were you feeling loving to yourself when you grabbed a sugary breakfast because it was easy and you were in a rush. How did you respond to a friend who mentioned how lovely your dress looked, and you saying "Oh, this old thing" instead of "thank you". And on and on it goes, throughout the day, ususally without any awareness that you're doing it. What am I talking about? Your self talk! Do you see where I'm going with this now? The thoughts you have about yourself, the kindness you forgot to show yourself and how you treat yourself in every moment of every day. You want your partner and friends to love and care about you, but you don't even love or care about yourself.....that's a lot of pressure to put on someone else!! It's time to fall totally back in love with yourself.
According to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology by Phillippa Lally and colleagues from University College London, that it takes 66 days to change a habit!
21 days - challenging - but keep going!
40 days - can get a little messy!
66 days - GORGEOUS! Keep doing what you're doing - you've got this!
Here's 6 easy ways to start making change:
Rituals will keep you on track. When I started my family back in 1991, I would get up at 5.00 every morning so that I could have time for me. Even though, through the years, our lives will change in different ways, that time spent journaling, enjoying a cup of tea or coffee, exercising, learning etc, is a powerful way to create a day that when started right, will usually continue the same way, and you feeling more empowered.
Meditation is an easy way to start this gentle process, letting go of old memories, like peeling an onion, one layer at a time. I learnt Transcendental Meditation because it's easy, but you should always do what feels right for you. Here's a link to the official TM site
Lao-Tzu, the father of Taoism, teaches that we must endure what life throws at us like reeds in the wind. If we bend and surrender to the pressures of life, allowing the natural course of events to teach us, we will go through transformation. If we insist on remaining firm and upright, we snap.
Mindfulness is about a deeper awareness of everything you do in every day, slowly and gently. The way you get out of bed, brush your teeth, eat your food, walking, cooking etc. Go to Plum Village to find out more
Gratitude Journaling is a great way to note how you're feeling each day so you can see patterns when certain emotions come up for you. Giving gratitude, no matter how small, helps us to appreciate what we have right now, today, and the more we show and feel gratitude we begin to create new neural pathways that grow stronger and stronger, which means, when we stop focusing on negativity, those negative neural pathways will slowly melt away.
Do this if you're feeling negative - get your journal and write down whatever is bothering you, in lots of detail, and don't stop until it's ALL on paper. Sometimes that's all that's needed to be done to heal a negative situation. Here's what Ernest Hemingway had to say:
“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
― Ernest Hemingway
Saying No! Learning to say no isn't easy, but sometimes it's important to remember that you need 'me time' too. Self care - reading a book, having an indulgent bath, a walk in nature, a hobby, meditation, yoga etc. Time that is just for you, every day, without exception. It's you're body-mind-soul time, you healing time!
*Buy yourself flowers, don't wait for someone to buy them for you.
*When you look in the mirror, look deep into your eyes and see how you feel, then say out loud "I Love You".
*Look at every line, scar and mark on your body and face with love - they are signs of how far you've come
*Nourish your body with fresh fruit & fresh seasonal veggies everyday
*Give yourself a break from Gluten, Sugar and Caffeine regularly
*Detox your home from dangerous chemicals in your cleaning products etc, you're Liver will thank you!
*Watch an hour or so of comedies everyday
*Listen to uplifting music
You get the idea now - YOU MATTER!!!!
With love, Kathy xxx